MST 'EM: Ultimate by Sony Love
Summary: Original summary: Everyone believed that Shadow was the ultimate life form. But when a mysterious hedgehog appears to question that fact, an epic battle will erupt!
MST 'EM summary: Recolor beats everyone up without breaking a sweat.
Categories: MSTings, Sonic the Hedgehog Characters: None
Gender Pairings: None
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy
Warnings: Gore, Strong Language, Violence
Challenges: None
Series: Mystery Science Theater En Masse
Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes Word count: 11933 Read: 68629 Published: July 17, 2011 Updated: July 17, 2011
Story Notes:
This is the eighth riffed fic for "Mystery Science Theater En Masse", and the group's first special where both the Egg Spiral and Black Crow members riff the same fic. "Ultimate" was written by ShadowPzzat11.

1. Part One by Sony Love

2. Part Two by Sony Love

3. Part Three by Sony Love

4. Obscure References by Sony Love

Part One by Sony Love

1. The Coming of Dusk

Amy: You mean sunset?
Sonic: You wish.

"Sayonara, Shadow the Hedgehog."

Sonia: And konnichiwa, whatever we're getting.

"Maria! No!" Shadow screamed, but it was too late.

Manic: For there were no more free sandwiches to hand out.
Jessie:
Because the antidote for the snake venom had run out before he could take any.

Maria had already pushed the button, sending the pod he was in towards the planet Mobius.

Sonic: Good evening, and welcome to Space Colony ARK Podlines...

As he began to lose conciseness, Shadow caught a glimpse of something. It seemed to be a hedgehog, flying down to Mobius from the colony. "That's impossible. I was the only hedgehog on the colony..."

Amy: *as Shadow* Oh, god. Does that mean that I'm going to be trumped by a recolor?
Cassy: I will so rip my fur off if that's true, dude.
Kyo: Great, give me another excuse to go blind, huh?
Miyu: Stop it, you two...

Shadow awoke from his slumber, gasping. He had that nightmare ever since the incident on Ark.

Sonia: Unfortunately, crappy nightmares always come true in fics like these.

But he was not expecting to have a dream this time.

Manic: Of course not, now that he's awake!
Amy: Or is he?
Cassy:
*hums "Twilight Zone" theme*

He looked around. He had no idea where he was.

Sonic: All bets are on "Hell".
Kyo: Actually, I'm shooting for the opening for any "Twilight" film, Sonic. Hell on Earth.

"I'm alive?" He said.

Sonia: So, Shadow's God?
Miyu: And... His children are scantily clad Sonic Sues?

Just then, a duck and a walrus walked into the room.

Sonic: They were secret lovers.
Jessie: I don't want to imagine what the offspring would look like...

They were startled when they saw that he was awake.

Cassy: Of course. Shadow is God.
Manic: And for stupid PC purposes, we must now apologize to those who do and don't worship God. Great job, Cass.

Shadow jumped up and pinned them both against the wall.

Amy: *as Stewie Griffin* Where's my money, man?!

"Where am I?" he asked angrily.

Sonic: Again, you're in Hell, young Shadow.
Kyo: Pfft. You want a real Hell? I'm now changing my vote to "Being a male guest on the Maury Show".

Before the two had a chance to respond, a squirrel in a blue vest ran in.

Manic: Rocky?
Sonia: No...

"Please, stop!" she begged, and the look in her eyes reminded him of Maria and convinced him to put the two down.

Miyu: *pushes glasses up* Oh, my. That's quite a bland cop out there.
Amy:
Jeez, everyone just reminds this guy of Maria, huh?
Everyone else: *stares at Amy*
Amy: Oh. Whoops.

Again, he asked, "Where am I?"

Sonic: H--
Sonia:
Burger World. Care to spin again, dear brother?
Kyo: I'm going to change my vote again. It's--
Jessie: Here! Try here, Kyo!

The squirrel nodded and replied. "You're in Knothole. I am Princess Sally Acorn, and you have already met Rotor and Dr. Quack," Sally said, pointing over at the duck and the walrus, "Who are you?"

Manic: *as Shadow* I'm the target of hormonal slutty looking Sonic Sues everywhere. I'm dark and edgy. I--
Amy: *as Sally* Yeah, okay. Your name, please?

"I am Shadow the Hedgehog, the ultimate life form created by Gerard Robotnik" Shadow answered.

Miyu: Or Gerald Robotnik, your call.
Cassy: Or Gerard Way. Again, your call.

Noticing the looks he received from the three, Shadow shook his head. "Do not worry, he is dead, and I currently have no ties to the Robotnik you know."

Jessie: Yeah, until a little word called "blackmail" reared its ugly, pulsating head...

"Okay, but what happened to you? We found you in the middle of the woods yesterday." Rotor told him. When he heard this, Shadow looked confused.

Kyo: *as Shadow* What the hell are these "woods" that you speak of?

"I'm not sure. I remember stopping the colony from crashing on Mobius with Sonic's help-." He began, but was quickly interrupted by Sally.

Sonia: *as Sally* Hold on, I just need to swoon for a moment. You said Sonic's name...
Amy: ...
Cassy: And so, our black hedgehog arrived from the Heavens, and He--
Everyone else: Cassidy!
Cassy: Wow. I'm used to Miyu cutting me off, but her and six others?

"You were with Sonic? Is he alright? What about the others?" she asked; a look of concern present in her eyes.

Miyu: Hmm, Sonic always seems to come first to her, am I correct?
Sonic: Uh...
Amy: *grumbles*

"He is fine, as far as I know. I remember falling...but I can't remember anything else."

Manic: *as Shadow* It's like... being on a terrible LSD trip.
Cassy: Yeah, you'd probably know, dude.
Manic: Hey...

"Maybe this will jog your memory," Dr. Quack said, as he pulled out a chaos emerald, "We found this in your hand."

Sonic: Can he use it as a remote to speed up this fic?
Jessie: Oh, come on, Sonic.

Shadow looked at the emerald, and then he said "I remember now.

Amy: Is the emerald a crystal ball now?
Miyu: It looks that way, yes.

I was falling, and then I saw a chaos emerald falling also. I grabbed it, and used chaos control to teleport me safely to the ground. I must have passed out soon after."

Sonia: See, this should've set the stage for "Sonic Heroes", but...
Jessie: Turned into nightmare land there?
Sonia: Yes.

"Chaos control?" the three asked.

Sonic: *as Shadow* No, pizza delivery. Of course it's Chaos Control!

Realizing their lack of knowledge on this subject, Shadow explained it to them. "It is when I use a chaos emerald to move at hyper speed."

Kyo: *as Shadow* Like right now! Later, suckers!

Nodding, Rotor then said, "Tell us about what happened on Ark, please."

Sonia: Ooh! Ooh! I hope he tells them this story over a campfire while they have S'mores!
Miyu: *pushes glasses up* S'mores? Oh, they're quite enjoyable, yes.

Shadow told them how he and Sonic stopped the colony from crashing on the planet.

Manic: Yeah, sure! Don't give us a flashback or anything! Jeez!
Cassy: Use your imagination. That's why it was there, man.

While he was talking, Sonic, Tails, Amy, Knuckles, and Rouge walked in the hut.

Jessie: They were all replaced by monotonous voiceovers.

"Hey, Sal-"Sonic said, but he stopped when he saw Shadow. They all did.

Amy: Jeez, this narration sounds boring.
Sonic: Sonic got up. He stretched. He sat back down.

"Shadow?" Tails asked in disbelief, having last seen the black hedgehog sacrifice himself to save Mobius from the plummeting space colony.

Miyu: But it wasn't Shadow! It was his clone!
Everyone else: Huzzah!

"We thought you were dead," Knuckles said, flabbergasted at the sight of Shadow.

Kyo: *as Knuckles* Damn. That emo hedgehog didn't get nuked.

"How did you survive?" Rouge asked.

Manic: *as Shadow* Via ass-pull.

It was clearly visible that she was happy to see Shadow, even more so that the others.

Amy: This is why lemons were made.
Cassy: Uh... Amy the pervert...?
Amy: *blushes* N-no! I was just saying--
Sonia, Cassy: Uh-huh.

With that, Shadow told them all of how he saved himself from his impending doom.

Jessie: No, we still don't need that flashback. Thanks, anyway.

Soon afterwards, Knuckles decided that it was time to return the Master Emerald to Angel Island.

Sonic: Later, he was robbed by Rouge... in a sexy way.
Kyo: And then the Master Emerald broke. Again.
Miyu: *as Knuckles* Oh, that's just great!

After saying their goodbyes, Shadow began to disembark.

Manic: He was set to "climb" Mt. Everest.

"Where do you think you're going?" Amy asked, mirroring the thoughts of everyone else in the hut.

Cassy: *as Shadow* What, I can't get a drink of water or something? Cut me some slack here!

"I believe I've overstayed my welcome. So I'm going to leave..." Shadow said, looking back at his friends.

Amy: *as Shadow* Besides, my Chaos Emerald/Crystal Ball foretold my future. I'll be doomed if I continue to stay.

"No way," Sonic said. "I'm sure that we've got an extra hut around here somewhere."

Sonic: *as himself* No, wait... that one's got buttloads of bugs in it.

Tails added, "And if not, then we can build one! It's the least we can do!"

Miyu: *as Shadow* Well the offer really is nice, but... Chaos Control!

Shadow, smiling at this act of kindness, took the offer graciously.

Manic: The moment he smiled was also the same moment that Mount Rushmore exploded.

Sixth months later, Shadow still enjoyed his life at Knothole. He had helped the Freedom Fighters on many occasions, and was considered an honorary member.

Sonia: This isn't really terrible... but isn't Shadow an Anti-Hero?
Everyone else: Yep.
Sonia: Huh.

One day, a message came through on the main moniter, and all of the Freedom Fighters, including Shadow, went to see what it was bout.

Sonic: Oops. Someone spilled some water on the technology.

The screen showed Knuckles and the Chaotix. "Guys, something is attacking Station Square, we're on our way, but you guys should come too."

Kyo: *as Knuckles* Oh, wait. We overanalyzed it... we over magnified a worm. Go back to your daily lives, guys.

"What is it, one of Robotnik's robots?" Amy asked.

"No, from what people are saying, it's a hedgehog."

Amy: Fifty bucks says it's a recolor.
Manic: Fifty bucks says that it owns everyone... well, everyone with battle abilities, at least.
Jessie: I'm starting a pool, then.

Suddenly, the memory of the hedgehog flying down from Ark flashed across Shadow's mind. He began to fall, but Sonic caught him.

Cassy: *in a southern voice* Oh, my stars! I do declare!
Sonia:
Hey, Shadow must have taken some tips from Shyloh and did a girly swoon!
Kyo, Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: Who?
Sonia: Oh, never mind.

"Are ya okay?" Bunnie asked.

Sonic: *as Terry Bogard* Buster Wolf!
Kyo: *as Terry Bogard* Stand up!

Shaking off the sensation, Shadow replied, "I'm fine. Let's go"

Sonic: Care to add a punctuation to that sentence
Amy: Hey, where's your punctuation?
Kyo: Hes too cool for that Amy
Amy: Yeah...

When they got to Station Square, half the city was destroyed. "Vhat could du zees?" Antoine asked.

Kyo: ...
Manic:
Vhy ees zees...
Kyo: *stares at Manic*
Manic: Oh, never mind.
Sonic: You're telling me that whoever did this... did it because they could?
Amy: Perfect Chaos: Part Two.

When they landed, Knuckles and the others were already there.

All: Dur-hay!

Knuckles was fine for the most part, but the members of the Chaotix were injured.

Miyu: Wow, I guess that over magnified worm wasn't as wimpy as we thought.

Standing before them was a hedgehog that looked almost exactly like Shadow, only violet and blue instead of black and red. The only significant difference was that his quills bent downwards much like Sonic's, though they still maintained the streaks.

All: *screams*
Sonic: I demand to be flung out of this satellite!
Manic: I want to go into a fetal position in the corner...
Amy: *rubs head* No... just... no... I don't even care that I've won fifty bucks.
Sonia: I'd rather have Kyo burn me to death...
Kyo: *ignites a flame* Really? Well, let's get started, honey.
Miyu: Kyo... would you extinguish that, please?
Kyo: Pfft. Fine.

The hedgehog smiled confidently as he watched the newcomers step out of the jet.

Jessie: Since when did these guys own a jet? From hidden lottery winnings?
Amy:
*sighs* Complete Gary Stu ownage begins in two minutes...
Cassy: I guess Jessie still has that... kitty over there, right?
Everyone else: Get out, Cassidy!
Cassy: What?! It is a kitty!

Shadow and Sonic dashed ahead to where Knuckles was. "Hey, Knux, are you okay?" Sonic asked.

Manic: *as Knuckles* Okay, look at me... and now look at the Chaotix. Do the math!

"I'm fine, but this guy is extremely powerful. I can't even touch him" Knuckles replied, regaining his breath.

Sonia: Probably because he reeks of onions. I don't know...

"Who are you?" Shadow asked as he turned his head to the powerful stranger.

Sonic: Okay, author... we got it, he's powerful...

"Who am I? I am Dusk the Hedgehog,

Miyu, Cassy: ...
Manic: *smacks head*
Jessie: Can I just go break my neck now?
Sonia: Can you break mine first before you do that, please?
Sonic: *gets up* That's it, I'm leaving! I quit!
Kyo: *gets up* I'm with you.
Amy: *grabs Sonic's arm* Wait, guys! Did you forget that the bridge has no oxygen?
Sonic: And when has that stopped me before?
Amy: *releases Sonic's arm* It'll probably stop you now when the bridge's oxygen has been replaced with some odd poison gas, and the theater's door is sealing it off...
Kyo: *sits back down* Wonderful.
Sonic: *sits back down* Peachy. And how are we still alive if that's been replaced with poison?
Amy: Plot device. Really, you should just relax.

the ultimate life form, created by the great Gerald Robotnik.

Jessie: Jeez, as if Shadow wasn't any more of a possible Canon Stu, we have to deal with this jackass.

I am looking for one called Shadow the Hedgehog, do you know where he is?"

Cassy: You could've just looked around instead of, I dunno... destroying half of Station Square, moron!

Dusk asked boastfully, his arms crossed. His voice was very similar to Shadow's but had a deeper, eviler tone.

All: *groans*
Sonia: I... I'm not really going to like the end result, right?
Miyu: It's either that or Dusk may need more fiber in his diet.
Manic: Nah, it's because he's eeeeevillll...er!

As Shadow heard Dusk's claims, he stepped forward. "I'm him, and you're mistaken. I'm the ultimate life form."

Sonic: Shadow, be careful. That... thing's been taking tips from the Mishima family.
Kyo: So, it can withstand ravines, volcanoes, and explosions from boatloads of robots?
Sonic: Exactly.

"Hm. So you're the other hedgehog Professor Gerald created. Strange, I expected you to be more powerful. I barely sense any energy in you" When Dusk said this, Shadow became enraged.

Jessie: Hell, I would be too. Damned recolors.

"We'll see who's stronger," he said as he pulled out the chaos emerald that he always carried with him; the one that had saved his life. "Chaos Control!"

Amy: *sighs* Complete Gary Stu ownage begins in three seconds...
Manic: Oh, I guess I'm getting my fifty bucks, too!

Shadow rushed at Dusk at super fast speed using Chaos Control. When he reached the mysterious hedgehog, Shadow threw a punch. But, Dusk caught it with ease.

Miyu: *places her face in her hands*
Sonic: Why are we still reading this crap?
Cassy: Because there's eight of us being forced to, and this is the first fic that actually threatened poison on all of our butts if we leave.
Kyo: Basically, we're fucked. Big time.

"Ha. I see you still need a chaos emerald to perform Chaos Control. Pathetic."

Amy: Tch, we're sorry that we can't break logic and canon, Dusk.
Cassy: Okay, then you do it! Perform Chaos Control right now!

He then punched Shadow in the stomach and disappeared. He reappeared behind Sonic, grabbed his head, and slammed it into the ground. Knuckles went to throw a punch at him, but Dusk grabbed his arm, and flipped him over onto Sonic's back. As the three started the get on to their feet, Dusk began to levitate into the air. "Do you understand my power now," he said as he grinned, "Or do I have to continue showing you?"

Manic: You know... what's the point of life if you're just going to win every time?
Sonia: This is worse than bringing legendaries to a Pokémon battle and winning tournaments without a hitch.

"I don't care who you are, I'm taking you down!" Sonic yelled as he charged at super speed and used his sonic spin. As he was approaching, Dusk held out his hand and stopped him. He then pushed him back into Shadow and Knuckles, sending all three of them to the ground.

Sonic: Oh, for the love of...

"Guys," Knuckles said as they got up, "We can't beat this guy if we attack separately. We need to attack at once!"

Kyo: And then the guy owns them after this, right?! Can we leave now?!

Shadow and Sonic dashed at Dusk and began throwing a flurry of punches. But, Dusk just kept dodging them all. Knuckles came from behind with a roundhouse, but Dusk ducked to avoid it. He then grabbed Knuckles' legs, and slammed him on the ground. He then kicked Sonic in the head, and went to punch Shadow. He dodged it, but then Dusk elbowed him in the back of the neck.

Sonic: *snores*
Amy: *nudges Sonic* Hey...
Sonia: This... this has got to be the worst thing that I have ever read.

The Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix watched in horror as their friends were being beaten. "We have to do something!" Mighty said. They went to help, but Knuckles held up his hand to stop them.

Jessie: *woodenly* Do not bother, you will get your ass kicked.
Everyone else: *woodenly* Blah, blah, blah...

"No! If you try to fight him, you'll end up getting hurt. Leave it to us." Just then, Dusk appeared and head butted Knuckles. He then performed a back flip, kicking Sonic into the air with his feet. He blasted Shadow with an energy ball. He began to fly up after, Sonic. When he caught up with him, he slammed him into a building.

All: *booing*

"Well Shadow, do you believe me now? You haven't touched me! I am the ultimate life form!" Dusk bellowed as he hung in the air.

Manic: Oh, whatever, man. You're just a God Mode Stu.
Cassy:
Uh... what the hell was this recolor's motivation for beating the tar out of everyone?
Amy: For the heck of it, I guess.

Shadow and Knuckles ran to aid Sonic. When they found him, he was lying on the ground, moaning. Shadow told Knuckles, "He should be fine,"

Sonia: Just give him some chili dogs. He'll be back on his feet in no time.

After being helped to his feet, Sonic, slightly delirious from the impact, asked, "What happened?"

Miyu: Holy moly, building slams really do take a lot of memory out of you!

"You were punched into a building," Knuckles answered, chuckling at his friend's obliviousness.

Kyo: Wait, so Sonic's brain is this close to pulsating out of his head from a building smash, and you find this funny?!
Sonic: Apparently, Knuckles must be suffering from some memory loss, too. "I" was slammed, not punched, into a building.

Just then, the already damaged building began to collapse as it was struck by green energy blasts.

Sonia: Great, now we can add more pointless deaths to the list.
Amy: *sarcastically* All's well that ends well, right?

Shadow, Knuckles and Sonic dashed for the exit. When they stepped outside, Dusk was there to greet them. "I'm somewhat surprised you survived that. No matter. There is no way you can defeat me!" He exclaimed, laughing maniacally.

Jessie: Jeez, is it possible for this guy to shut up about being powerful?
Sonia: Ever won the lottery?
Jessie: No.
Sonia: There you go.

Watching from afar, the Freedom Fighters and Chaotix became frustrated at Dusk's seemingly invulnerableness.

All: We are, too!

"If only they could turn into their Super and Hyper forms, then they could beat him!" Espio said.

Cassy: *bluntly* Let me guess... they don't, even in those forms, right?

Overhearing this claim, Dusk turned his head and asked, "Do you really think that these 'Super and Hyper forms' can possibly be a challenge for me? If you do, you are deadly mistaken."

All: Shut up!

"We all know they can beat you!" Sally replied confidently.

Amy: And... then they don't, right?

"Let's see if you are right." Dusk then clapped his hands,

Manic: Clap your hands if you believe!
Sonic: I believe... that this fic will end!
All: Hallelujah!
Kyo: Praise the lord, baby!

and Shadow, Knuckles, and Sonic turned into Hyper Shadow, Hyper Knuckles, and Super Sonic. "...What just happened?" Sonic asked as he looked at himself and his friends.

Sonia: You were given your powers by a Gary Stu recolor. You and your friends may want to use them to hightail your collective asses out of this fic.

"I gave you each power equivalent to 7 chaos emeralds and 50 power rings. Now, let's see if your friends are right, shall we?"

All: Let's guess... they're wrong, right?

Dusk rushed at Hyper Shadow, Hyper Knuckles and Super Sonic. They jumped to the side and each fired an energy blast. When they landed, they could only see smoke. "Heh. Guess he's not so tough after all," Super Sonic said confidently. Then, Dusk dashed out of the smoke and began to attack Sonic. They both threw a flurry of punches and kicks at each other at lightning fast speed.

Sonic: It's not really an action scene if the sentences are crammed into a skinny closet...
Kyo: With twenty--
Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: Supermodels. Got it, Kyo.
Kyo: I was really going to say "giant beach balls", but... whatever.

Super Sonic finally landed a blow, kicking Dusk in the stomach, sending him hurtling backwards.

All: Yay!

He performed a flip to stay on his feet.

All: Huh.

When he looked up, Hyper Shadow punched him in the face. Dusk was sent flying, and Hyper Knuckles delivered a kick to his head. After spiraling through the air, Dusk landed on the ground.

All: Huh...

Hyper Shadow, Hyper Knuckles and Super Sonic went to continue their assault, but he disappeared.

All: Huh?

"Where'd he go?" Hyper Knuckles asked. They turned their heads as Dusk appeared on top of a nearby building. "Well, what are you waiting for? Come and get me."

All: Oh, great...

Angered at the powerful hedgehog's confidence,

Sonia: We got it, he's powerful! Now would you shut up about that?!
Miyu: Please!

the trio began to fly up at Dusk. As they did, Dusk began to gather energy. All kinds of debris began to collect around him.

Manic: Like the remainders of Dorothy Gale's house.

He then released his energy, and all the fragments shot at Hyper Shadow, Hyper Knuckles, and Super Sonic.

Cassy: So, his powers include shooting things from the ground?

They avoid them with ease, but then Dusk appeared right in front of Hyper Shadow and knocked him to the ground. Hyper Knuckles and Super Sonic dashed at Dusk and began to attack with a barrage of punches and kicks. It seemed that Dusk had trouble dodging and blocking them.

Kyo: Oh, well. Nobody's going to shed a tear if this guy eats it, anyway.
Everyone else: Yep.

The Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix watched as their friends took the upper hand. "Yeah! They have this fight in the bag now!" Vector said.

Jessie: I'm willing to bet this entire satellite that they don't.

"That guy is going down!" Rotor added.

Amy: *scoffs* I wish.

As her friends cheered, Julie-Su remained silent. "It doesn't seem right. This guy seems to be...holding back," she thought. "But why? I hope those guys know what their doing."

Manic: Oh, way to be a party pooper, Julie-Su.

Hyper Shadow flew up at Dusk, who was still holding off Super Sonic and Hyper Knuckles. He then tackled him into the side of a building. Hyper Shadow then tried to throw a punch, but Dusk caught it and punched Hyper Shadow in the stomach. Hyper Knuckles and Super Sonic then fired two energy blasts, sending Dusk to the ground.

Sonia: Finally, an even match... right?
Cassy: Nope.

"Just give up," Hyper Shadow said as Dusk got to his feet.

"Yeah, you got cocky and gave us enough power to beat you. Bad choice," Hyper Knuckles added.

Miyu: *pushes glasses up* Um... fighting cockiness with cockiness is quite a terrible choice there...
Kyo: *ignites flame, grins* But fighting bad fanfiction with fire is even better.
Miyu: Kyo... would you extinguish that, please?
Kyo: Tch... fine... but you know I'm only saying "yes" because you're the one who asked.

"You are the ones who are cocky. Play time is over!" Dusk screamed as he began to gather massive amounts of energy. As he did, the ground began to shake. A bright green aura began to envelop him.

"What's happening?" Bunnie asked.

"I don't know," Amy replied, "But it doesn't look good!"

All: Oh, boy...

Suddenly, a bright flash emitted from Dusk, blinding them all. When it cleared, his physical form had changed. He was now blue with green streaks. His muzzle was the same color as his fur and no mouth was visible. His eyes had become deep green voids. His quills had grown in length, and were now down to his ankles. He looked very similar to Chaos. "Are you scared now? I am Omega Dusk! Or, in other words, your doom!"

Everyone except Sonic and Kyo: ...
Kyo:
Can I go and commit suicide by inhaling the bridge's poison now?
Sonic: Hell, can I join him?
Everyone else: No!
Sonic: Well, then.
Kyo: I hate you all.

Part Two by Sony Love

2. Finding Answers

Sonic: I want an answer to why this was written!

Omega Dusk charged at Hyper Shadow, Hyper Knuckles and Super Sonic. They went to block his attack, but he disappeared. He appeared behind them, tripped Hyper Knuckles, grabbed Super Sonic and threw him into Hyper Shadow. He then grabbed Hyper Knuckles' leg and began to swing him around. He then let go, sending him flying into a rock. As Super Sonic got up, Omega Dusk was in his face, charging an energy blast. But, he flipped over Super Sonic, and blasted Hyper Shadow in midair. When he landed, Super Sonic threw a punch, but Omega Dusk dodged it with ease and kicked him in the face.

Amy: Great. The Gary Stu curbstomped everyone...
Sonia: And the sentences are still crammed together...

"Pitiful. I expected a slight challenge from you three. But, I guess your just weaklings like the rest of the inhabitants of this planet," Omega Dusk said as he watched the three struggle to get to their feet.

All: Would you shut up?!

They all charged and began to throw punches and kicks, but Omega Dusk dodged them with ease.

Manic: *frustrated sigh* Great, and he dodged with ease again. I hate this guy!
Miyu: Maybe I should break my glasses. I can't read anything without them, so...

A blast of energy sent the three attackers flying.

Everyone except Amy and Miyu: *gets up*
Amy: Poison's out there, guys.
Everyone except Amy and Miyu: *sits back down*

"This isn't good," Super Sonic said as they regained their balance in mid-air. "He's more powerful than we thought."

Manic: Okay, we got it, he's powerful! Shut up!

Hyper Shadow replied, "We'll find a way to beat him."

Cassy: And then they don't, because Dusk's the master of ass pulling. Why are we still reading this?!

Omega Dusk began to walk towards them. "Do you still believe you can beat me? I will put a stop to your foolish hopes right now!"

Kyo: *grumbles*

He then rushed the trio. He kicked Hyper Knuckles and sent him through multiple buildings. When he landed, Knuckles had powered down. He knocked Super Sonic to the ground and stomped on his head repeatedly until he powered down.

All: *loudly booing*
Kyo: *throws garbage at the screen*

"Now, Shadow, since you believe yourself to be the ultimate life form, your death will be first and the most painful!" He began to rapidly punch Hyper Shadow with fierce aggression. When Omega Dusk stopped his assault, Shadow had powered down. He was barely conscious, blood pouring down his face. Knuckles and Sonic were both lying on the ground, unable to get up.

Sonic: *snores*
Amy: *nudges Sonic*
Sonic: *wakes up* What? I can't leave the theater, I can't do a tag-team suicide with Kyo on the bridge... at least let me sleep through this, huh?

Omega Dusk grabbed Shadow by the throat and began to choke him. "You call yourself the ultimate life form? You're nothing compared to me! Face it Shadow, you're nothing but a FAKER!"

Sonic: Hey, thanks for stealing my lines, jackass.
Manic:
Does this guy have any sort of personality?
Everyone else: Nope.
Manic: Huh.

Faker. Faker. Faker. The word echoed through Shadow's head. "This is the end," he thought.

Cassy: *singing* My only friend, the end...

Just then, a rock hit Omega Dusk in the head.

Sonia: Too bad it wasn't a sniper rifle's bullet.
Jessie: *putting away her sniper rifle* Did you say something, Sonia?
Sonia: Never mind.

"Who dares to strike me?"

Miyu: Who dares to take those faux-Shakespearean classes?

When the powerful hedgehog turned,

Kyo: Would you shut the fuck up about this Stu being powerful, author?! Good God!

he saw the Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix, standing defiantly before him.

Amy: Ooh! Can I join? I've always wanted to try a first degree murder charge with this hammer!

"If you mess with our homies, we'll beat you down!" Vector stated.

Manic: Since when did Vector become a "gangster"?

"Yeah!" everyone else shouted, agreeing with their friend's words for once.

Cassy: *sarcastically* Yeah, because Vector's a dumbass, remember?

"Ha. What fools you are! If these three could not beat me, what chance do you have?"

Jessie: Okay... somebody better snap this guy's neck before I do it!
Sonia: Oh, boy...

Omega Dusk then saw Sally and chuckled. "You are Sally Acorn, Princess of the Kingdom of Acorn, am I correct?" Omega Dusk asked.

Amy: And Sally responds with a proper "Kiss my ass" moment. Her fans and haters promptly cheer.
Sonic: And Dusk can't match the surname with the kingdom's name. Just all muscles that lack brains.
Manic: *as Dusk* Dur... hey! This lady has the same last name as that one regal last name!

Sally replied, "...Yes, I am." To her it felt like her heart was in her throat.

Miyu: *pushes glasses up* Then I believe that you may need to check that out with a doctor.

"Would you mind telling your father something? Tell him that in five days, I am going to kill him and everyone else in the Kingdom of Acorn. Do you mind telling him that?"

Cassy: Cripes, have you been taking some redundancy classes, Dusk?
Sonic:
*as Dusk* Also, I'm joing him for a cup of tea beforehand. Would you mind telling him that?
Manic: Uh... why would he want to destroy the Acorn Kingdom?
Sonia: Uh... because?

Everyone gasped when they heard this. Then, Omega Dusk looked at Shadow, Knuckles and Sonic, who were all unconscious. "I will let these three live. Maybe they will be foolish enough to challenge me again. I could use the practice."

Kyo: We could also get a rifle, stick it in your mouth, and pull the trigger, Dusk.
Manic: Then we should hire Sarah Palin. I heard she can do some good sniping from a helicopter.
Jessie: I'm offended now, Manic.

He dropped Shadow and began to fly up into the air. Then, he vanished.

Sonic: Too bad we couldn't do the same.

When Shadow woke up, he was in a hospital bed. He was covered in bandages. He looked over and saw that Knuckles and Sonic were awakening also.

Manic: Apparently, they were on a timeframe to wake up in sync.
Sonia: Maybe we should wake them up again when the meatloaf's finished, too.

They were in the same condition.

Miyu: *adjusts glasses*
All:
No shit!

Just then, Sally rushed in and embraced Sonic, kissing him. "Thank god you're all right!" Julie Su followed and gave Knuckles the same treatment.

Cassy: Great, break more of their bones, huh?

Groaning in pain, Sonic said, "Easy Sal, like I'm not hurt enough."

Kyo: *as Sonic* I mean, I just got my butt handed to me by a recolor and everything...

"Yeah," Knuckles added, talking to Julie Su.

The rest of the Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix came in, along with Rouge, who ran up to Shadow and embraced him. "I feel horrible! I should have been there to help you guys!"

"It's fine," Shadow replied, surprised by Rouge's sudden hug.

Manic: *sarcastically* Because you see, girls can't fight properly.

Sonic added, "Yeah, he was way to powerful for any of us."

All: Would you-- aargh!

"How long have we been out?" Knuckles asked, causing everyone in the room besides him, Shadow and Sonic to sigh.

Amy answered, "Two days, which means we have three days before that madman comes and tries to destroy everything and everyone."

Jessie: So... run away? Get out of this crappy fanfic? Something?
Amy: *as herself* Oh, my god! Five minus two... equals three! I'm so smart, guys!

"It's gonna be fine. We'll thing of something," Mighty said. "I mean; we've been in worse situations than this."

Cassy: Yeah, like being in bad Sonic hentai.
Miyu: Cassidy...

"We have?" Ray asked.

Sonic: Not really; you can't top being owned by a God Mode Stu, guys.

"Shadow, are you okay?" Bunnie asked.

Shadow didn't reply. He just kept staring into space. 'How is it possible? How could a being stronger than me have existed on Ark without me knowing about it? I need to find out...'

Kyo: Why don't you find the author and beat the answers out of him?
Sonic: Would you?
Kyo: *quietly laughs* Oh, I'll do a lot more than that.
Miyu: *sighs*

He stood up. He saw his chaos emerald on the counter next to him and picked it up.

Miyu: That will be $24.95, Shadow.

"Shadow, you should stay in bed," Doctor Quack said. But Shadow walked outside, as if he didn't even hear him.

Sonia: He really couldn't; he had a massive wax ball in those ears.

He walked outside and looked into the sky.

"Chaos Control!"

When the flash dissipated, Espio asked, "Where did he go?"

Sonic: Hope the answer was "out of this fic".

"Ze only place that he can find the answers he wants to know." Antoine replied

Amy: Yay, he did escape!
Jessie: Whoo, Shadow!

Shadow appeared on Ark. He looked around.

Miyu: Which was the only thing he could do, but hey.

So much had happened here, and he didn't even know about it.

Cassy: Like his birthday parties.

He walked inside. As he walked along the corridors, he thought about what he was looking for. "Where could Professor Gerald keep Dusk without me knowing it?"

Sonia: In a special capsule labeled, "What Authors use to create Mary Sues and Gary Stus."
Kyo: *as Shadow* I must destroy this... with extreme prejudice.

He eventually came upon the main laboratory. He walked in and looked at the capsule planted on the wall. "Here is where I was made," Shadow said, "but where..." Shadow stopped when he noticed a button beside the capsule. He pressed it, and suddenly, the capsule moved to the side, revealing a secret passage.

Amy: Once Shadow slid down the passage, he was in King Tut's tomb... oh, wait.

Shadow walked through the passage. When he came out, he entered a large room. Computers were all over, and in the center, there was another large capsule. Shadow walked slowly up to it, fearing the worst. On the base of the capsule was a dust-covered slate with letters engraved. When he wiped the dust away, he saw one word in bold print.

All: CRAP?

DUSK.

All: Oh.

Shadow backed up. "It's true. I'm not the ultimate life form..."

All: *flatly* What.

He walked up to one of the computers. It was still on.

Miyu: Wow, someone must've paid for their electric bill fifty years into the future...

He clicked the mouse, and a picture of Gerald Robotink appeared and began to speak.

Manic: He said, "Shadow, you suck." The tape then ended.

"Ha. Those fools are so busy trying to stop Project Shadow that they are blind to my real intention: Project Dusk. A creature so powerful that no army can stop it.

Sonic: Translation: Dusk shall be a boring, invincible git.

I will launch it down to Mobius as soon as it is awakened. Once there, it will hibernate and will not awaken unless Shadow fails to fulfill his duties. If that happens, Dusk will destroy everything!

Kyo: Including the memories of the unlucky souls that have watched "Perfect Couples"!

But, I realize that a creature this powerful possesses the ability to revolt against me. So, I have a safeguard planned. I Dusk tries to attack me, Shadow will be able to destroy him."

Jessie: Wow, Dr. Gerald really has a limited vocabulary.

Shadow gasped when he heard this. "How is it possible? How can I destroy Dusk?" He then again turned his attention towards the computer.

Cassy: Do an ass-pull! It's happened before!

"I guess it is incorrect to say that Dusk is the ultimate life form.

Sonia: Good.

He will possess incredible power his entire life, true. But Shadow has even greater power.

Sonic: And all is almost right in the world.
Miyu: Well, why not everything?
Kyo: Because Dusk exists.

The only problem is that he has to unlock it first. If he does, then Shadow will be able to defeat Dusk, and destroy the world!"

Manic: *pretending to malfunction* Destroy... destroy... destroy...

Then, the screen went blank.

Sonic: Just like my mind.

Shadow stared at the screen, absorbing what he just heard. "So I can beat him. But how?

Jessie: By going back in time and preventing the author from publishing this?
Miyu: One could only hope.

I guess I will need to train. I still have three days, maybe I have enough time."

Amy: Good! Then your training partner will be... Akuma! No, Shin Akuma! No... it's actually Oni!
Sonia: Also, if you're going to train against Evil Ryu... don't aim for the chest, because there's a hole in it. You'll whiff, and you'll look stupid.

Shadow then walked out the room, getting ready to train for his rematch with Dusk.

Manic: *hums Rocky theme*
Sonic: *as Mickey* Hit the meat, Shad!

Back on Mobius, everyone was getting ready for the assault.

Cassy: They've actually hired sniper chameleons.
Jessie: Nobody ever thinks about hiring me.
Cassy: Dude! You're in space!
Jessie: You think that's going to stop me, sweetie?

The entire king's army was congregating in front of the castle.

Sonia: They were allegedly playing Racko in the process.

The Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix were all grouped together, discussing what they would do "Here's how we are going to do this," Sally said, "When Dusk comes, Sonic, Knuckles and Tails will hold him back, using the chaos emeralds and power rings we collected. If they go down, the Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix will fight. If we lose, it's up to the army.

Miyu: Wait, why can't they just have the army go first, then the Freedom Fighters and Chaotix, and then Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles?
Jessie: Because that is logic. You know we can't have that.

And God help us if it comes to that."

Kyo: *as God* No. I shall not help you.

"It won't," Knuckles replied.

All: Oh, yes it will!

"What about Shadow?" Tails asked.

Jessie: We apologize, our dear Shadow has bailed. You're on your own, kid.

"When Shadow comes, he'll fight with you three."

Manic: Hopefully. See, you actually have to bribe the guy...

Mighty looked up into the sky. "Come on Shadow, you have to come..." he thought.

Sonia: We now cut to Shadow meditating under a waterfall.
Cassy: *as Shadow* J-j-j-jeez, that's c-c-c-cold....

Everyone in Knothole who couldn't fight was being evacuated.

Miyu: So, why didn't they follow suit?
Amy: Because Dusk needs to own everyone. Thanks for asking, friend.

Sonic walked up to Sally. "Hey Sal, you all right?"

Sonic: She would be if there wasn't a nutty mass murderer coming, "Sonic".

"Yeah," she replied, "I'm fine. I mean, everything's fine, isn't it?" She then began to cry. "We've never had to evacuate Knothole before. Not like this. I'm afraid that we'll never be able to come back."

Manic: Spoiler alert: They probably won't.
Sonia: Manic!
Manic: Oh, you'd be pessimistic, too. Don't lie, sis.

Sonic embraced her and kissed her. "Come on Sal, everything is going to be fine."

All: No, it won't.

The Chaotix walked over to Knuckles, who sat on a rock, looking into the distance. "Hey Knux, you okay?" Vector asked.

"Of course. I'm just...thinking, you know, about the fight."

Kyo: *as Knuckles* I'm just worried that the Master Emerald will be slammed on my head...

"Knuckles, you're going to beat that guy, you just have to believe in yourself." Julie-Su said, hugging Knuckles and kissing him on the cheek. The other Chaotix nodded in agreement.

Sonic: Also, you must open your heart.
Amy: *shifts eyes* Yep...

Knuckles replied, "Thanks, guys."

The fourth day. When everyone was evacuated, it was just The Freedom Fighters, The Chaotix, and the king's army.

Manic: *as Sally* Oh, crap! I mention "knights" and you give me chess pieces instead!

They were all tense, even though they still had another day. "We should probably get some rest. It's gonna be a big day tomorrow." Rotor said. They all agreed, and went to their huts. They all wondered about tomorrow and whether or not they would succeed.

Cassy: *gets up* Unfortunately, Dusk arrived that night and slaughtered everyone. The End, let's go.
Miyu: Cassidy...
Cassy: *sits back down* Fine. Alright, dude.

Far away, Dusk was thinking about the next day. "It is almost time. After I destroy the Kingdom of Acorn, I will go to the next region, and the next, until I wipe out all life on Mobius, just as Professor Gerald wanted!"

Sonia: Oh. So that's why he's doing that.
Jessie: It doesn't save the fic's skin, though.

Back on Ark, Shadow was training vigorously. "I have to beat him. I have to!"

Manic: Do it for the fangirls who want to bone you!

He stopped. "Why isn't anything happening? I've been training nonstop! And I don't seem to be making any progress!" he yelled as he punched the wall. "Dammit! Why aren't I strong enough?"

Miyu: No, Shadow. It's, "Why am I not strong enough?"
Sonic:
Because you haven't been taking your steroids like ol' Dusky there.

He began punching the wall repeatedly. "Why? Why? Why? WHY?" All of the sudden, he was engulfed in a bright light. When it was gone, he looked at himself. "I...had no idea...I could do this. My emotions. That's what unlocks my power. But it isn't enough. I need to train more."

Amy: *as Rocky* 'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance!
Kyo: *as Rocky* Yo, Adrian!

Sonic woke up in the middle of the night and walked outside. Upon coming out, he noticed all of his friends were outside too. "Couldn't sleep?" Ray asked no one in particular.

Antoine answered with a question of his own. "How cood ve?"

"Well, we might as well stay up now. He's going to be coming soon," Tails added.

Sonia: Coffee/Energy drink hybrids, anyone?
Manic: Diet pills?
Sonic: *in a falsetto voice* Oh! Look what you did to my figure!

"Have to train harder. Have to...oh no. The fifth day. Lost track of time. I have to go. Hope I'm not to late..."

All: You probably are.

Part Three by Sony Love

3. On the Fifth Day

Amy: Of Christmas?
Sonic, Sonia, Manic: ...
Jessie: Congratulations, Amy. You now know how I felt that day.
Cassy: I guess they were given five golden rings as well, huh?

Everyone in Knothole got ready for what was coming.

Kyo: Christ, author. You just made it sound like they deserved it.

It was the fifth day.

All: Duh!

Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails stood in front. "You guys ready?" Sonic asked, looking at his friends.

Sonic: *as himself* Because if you're not, I can always hire stunt doubles.

"Yeah. Let's do this." Knuckles replied, looking sternly ahead.

Manic: *as Darkwing Duck* Let's get dangerous!

Tails said nothing. "You okay Tails?" Sonic asked.

Sonia: *as Tails* You do know that I'm not even a teenager, right? This is technically child abuse, man!

"Y-y-yeah."

Amy: Hey, Tails must've joined Shadow under that waterfall!

Knuckles told the young fox, "You know, you don't have to do this."

"Are you kidding?" Tails said as the straightened up, looking at the two. "And leave you guys here alone to fight Dusk? No way."

Jessie: *in a bored tone* Doesn't matter if you stay or not. He's too powerful.

Just then, a line of trees began to fall.

Miyu: *in a gruff voice* Hey, this here's now the property for a new building...
Everyone else: *snickers*

Dusk came out of the forest and stood in front of them, laughing maliciously.

Cassy: *as Dusk* Ah... hahahaha... *coughs* Damn tree debris.

"I see you have a new recruit. But where is Shadow? Did he realize that he is no where near as powerful as I am?

Miyu: *adjusts glasses*
All:
Shut... the fuck... up!
Manic: Please!

Ha. A faker and a coward. How sad." Dusk then began to laugh even louder.

Sonic: *irritated sigh* "Faker", says the uncreative line stealing Shadow recolor.

Sonic, Knuckles and Tails became enraged at Dusk's mocking.

All: No kidding!

"Don't you dare call Shadow a coward!" Sonic exclaimed, clenching his fist.

Jessie: *as Sonic* Look, people who are stuck in traffic jams aren't cowards, you!

"Well, what else would you call someone who runs away from an opponent?"

Amy: Well, what else would you call an annoying recolor who won't shut up about how powerful he is?
Manic: *plays drum riff*
Kyo: *as Jon Stewart* Boom!

"Shut up and fight!"

Sonic: Well, I would at least prefer the "shut up" thing to take effect...
Cassy: *claps* Thank you, dude.

Knuckles said as the three pulled out seven chaos emeralds and fifty power rings. With a flash, they had turned into Super Sonic, Hyper Knuckles, and Turbo Tails.

Miyu: Oh, darn. I can't clap my hands to believe anymore.

Dusk chuckled at the trio's transformation.

Kyo: And this is the same guy who turns into Chaos's diseased offspring when he transforms. Yeah, you're no better.

"I see you are supplying the chaos emeralds and power rings. Oh well. Saves me the energy!"

All: *sighs* Please kill him.

Dusk charged at them and threw a punch. Hyper Knuckles grabbed the punch, and Turbo Tails came and began to punch Dusk in the stomach. They both jumped out of the way, and Super Sonic rushed with his hand charging an energy blast. Dusk dodged him, but then Super Sonic turned around and fired the blast, hitting Dusk in the back.

Sonic: Nobody cheer yet. I have a feeling that this's just going to get worse.
Everyone else except Miyu: No crap!
Sonic: Well, excuse me!
Miyu: Oh, my!

"Losing steam, huh Dusk?" Turbo Tails said.

Sonia: This has got to be the one fic in which I hate the protagonists as well as the antagonist.

"Fool. I'm just warming up!"

All: Blah, blah, blah...

Dusk vanished and reappeared right in front of Turbo Tails. Dusk used an uppercut to get him into the air. Super Sonic and Hyper Knuckles came from both sides, but Dusk just blasted them with chaos energy. When he looked up, he saw Turbo Tails coming with a kick. Barely dodging it, Dusk grabbed Turbo Tails' leg and threw him to the ground.

All: Typical...

Super Sonic came from behind and elbowed Dusk in the back. Stumbling forward, Dusk walked right into Hyper Knuckles' punch.

Manic: You're telling me... that this "powerful" thing just walked into a closed fist like a blind moron?
Sonic:
Hope it had brass knuckles in it!
Kyo, Miyu, Jessie, Cassy: *groans*
Sonia, Manic, Amy: Get out, Sonic!
Sonic: But, the poison...!

Dusk backed off from the three fighters,. "I see you've gotten stronger. Unfortunately for you, I am not even at my full power!"

All: Oh, great!
Manic: Will it take him fifty six episodes for him to reach full power?
Sonic: No, screw that. Give him a nanosecond.

With a flash, he had become Omega Dusk again. "Time to die!"

Kyo: Really? Well, I've saved this cyanide pill for this wonderful occasion!
Miyu: And you better not ingest it, Kyo!
Kyo: You really hate me, don't you, darling?

"Okay guys! We can beat him! We just..." Super Sonic was cut off when Omega Dusk came and kicked him in the stomach. Hyper Knuckles threw a kick of his own, but Omega Dusk just dodged it and threw a punch, knocking Hyper Knuckles into a hut.

Sonic: I guess I should have listened to you guys and went kerplunk on the bridge, huh?

"Am I losing steam now, kid?" Omega Dusk asked as he charged at Turbo Tails. He kneed him in the face, and grabbed him by his tails and threw him towards Super Sonic and Hyper Knuckles.

Amy: As we continue this Gary Stu curbstomp...

"Shadow was the only smart one. He realized there was no way you can beat me. Why can you three accept that?" Omega Dusk asked.

Jessie: *yelling* I can accept the fact that I actually want to rip your bloody heart out with my bare hands and eat it raw!
Everyone else: ...
Cassy:
*quietly mews, moves away from Jessie*
Sonia: I guess I don't have to hire Kano for you, then...

Hyper Knuckles, Super Sonic, and Turbo Tails flew at Omega Dusk and began to throw punches. "Now you're just boring me. Surely you've realized you can't hit me."

Cassy: Well, you're boring me because you're still talking.
Sonia:
Kyo, can you burn me alive now?
Kyo: Well, I--
Miyu: No!
Sonia, Kyo: Damn!

Omega Dusk said as he dodged them. He flipped back, and charged at them with his arms out, clothes-lining Hyper Sonic and Turbo Tails. He then head butted Hyper Knuckles, flipped over him, and blasted all three of them with consecutive energy blasts.

Miyu: *yawns*
Kyo: I can't believe that I didn't notice this until now... but when did this Stu turn into Broly?
Amy: Who?
Sonic: In other words, the author's been watching too much DragonBall Z, Ames.
Amy: Oh.

The Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix watched the fight from a distance. "Get ready guys," Bunnie said, "It might come down to us." They all began to get ready in case their friends failed in defeating Omega Dusk, which seemed more likely with each passing moment.

Sonic: Also, the likeliness for an eight person suicide increased by two hundred percent.

Hyper Knuckles, Super Sonic, and Turbo Tails stood, breathing heavily. "This...guy's really tough," Turbo Tails said.

Manic: We got it, he's pow-- tough...

Omega Dusk crossed his arms and cackled. "Do you give up yet? Because this is growing old, in my opinion."

Sonia: Wow... I'm surprised that you actually feel the same goddamn way as we do!
Amy:
Hands... throat... strangle...

"...Hell no," Hyper Knuckles retorted.

"Yeah," Super Sonic added, "We'll...fight you until we win!" Just then, they began to flicker, and then they had become Knuckles, Sonic, and Tails again. "Crap! We ran out of power rings!"

Manic: *throws hands up* Way to go... a convenient cop out's coming. You're doing a good job with your Stu, Shadow Pfft.
Sonic: Uh, I don't think that's the author's name, bro.
Manic: Come back to me when I give a crap about the name.

"How sad," Omega Dusk said, "Killing you will be easier now. Oh well." He ran at them and punched Tails in the stomach. He then hit Sonic with a roundhouse and fired an energy blast at Knuckles in a matter of seconds. They landed on the ground, and didn't get up. "Now, if you'll excuse me," Omega Dusk said, "I have a king to kill. If you're still alive when I get back, I'll put you out of your misery."

Kyo: *ignites a flame* Oh, I'll certainly put an end to someone's misery... and it's got "Gary Stu" written all over it.

The Freedom Fighters and the Chaotix watched as Omega Dusk walked towards them. Only a few feet from them, he stopped and observed. "Is this all? I was expecting more."

Miyu: *adjusts glasses* I wish that you would cram your banter into a specific part of your body, but that would be too much to ask, right?

"We may not look like much, but we'll beat you!" Amy yelled, wielding her hammer.

Amy: *holds her hammer* Urge... to kill... rising...

"Oh please. I am the ultimate life form. Haven't you heard? There is no way you can win!"

All: *gets up*
Cassy: Um, you do know that we can't go outside, right?
Sonia: *activates keytar laser* No... we're going to attack the screen! Do it!
*Everyone uses their abilities to try and break the screen, but unfortunately, it's unscathed in the end.*
Kyo: Ah, jeez. It's... everything-proof!
All: *sits down*
Jessie: *sighs* We really are doomed.

"Where there's a will, there's a way!" Ray yelled as they all charged. Mighty picked up a fallen tree and threw it at Omega Dusk, but the hedgehog just held up his hand and laughed as the tree split. Rouge flew at him and threw a kick, but Omega Dusk just dodged it and kicked her in the back. He then grabbed her and threw her into a tree. Antoine ran at Omega Dusk and swung at him with his sword.

Sonic: Can I go to sleep now?
Manic: At this rate... we don't care if you do, bro.
Sonic: *yawns* Cool.

"Do you think a sword will actually do any good?" Omega Dusk said as he grabbed the sword and lifted Antoine off the ground by it. "Now tell me, how do you wish to die?"

Amy: *as Antoine* Vith a side of bacon. Ees that cool?

"I vish to die ov old age..." Antoine said nervously.

Cassy: *imitates buzzer*
Sonia:
Oh! I'm sorry, we're all out of that wish. Care to request another?

"Too bad. Wishes don't always come true." With that said Omega Dusk held up his hand and blasted Antoine in the chest, leaving a gaping hole.

Kyo: Congratulations. You've now turned Antoine into Evil Ryu.

"Twan!" Bunnie yelled, tears streaming from her eyes as she extended her arm to punch Omega Dusk. He had to let go of Antoine's limp, smoking body to block the punch.

Jessie: Yeah, thanks for reminding us that he's dead, man. Really appreciate it.
Amy: *wakes Sonic up* Why not? Maybe he should've let him block the punch with the body, too. Salt the wounds.
Sonic: *mumbles* What'd I miss?
Amy: About four sentences.
Sonic: *flatly* Thanks, Ames.

Bunnie then charged at the powerful hedgehog

Everyone except Sonic: Would you shut up about that?!
Sonic: If I hear that stupid word one more time, I'm going to run somebody over with a pickup truck!

and threw everything she had at him. Omega Dusk's laughing only intensified Bunnie's rage. "Stop laughing, you monster!" she screamed as one of her punches finally connected, but had no effect.

Miyu: *rubs head* So, when somebody finally hits this jerk, it has no effect. Thanks, Shadow Puft!
Cassy: Dude, I don't think that's the author's name, either.
Miyu: My headache's too big to care about that, Cassidy.

"I'm sorry. Did that miserable excuse of a Mobian mean something to you? Well then let me help you join him!" Everyone watched in dismay as Omega Dusk tore Bunnie's robotic arm off, leaving her on the ground in shock.

Manic: Okay, now we're just entering "Kill Bill" territory here.

"You bastard!" Mighty yelled as the charged at Omega Dusk and threw a punch, which Omega Dusk easily dodged. But Mighty continued swinging his arms, hoping to land a blow. Eventually the two stood in at grip lock, equally matched for the most part. "What's so damn funny?" Mighty asked as Omega Dusk snickered.

Cassy: Stu Ownage in three... two... one...

"You're pretty strong," Omega Dusk replied. "I'll have put an end to that." He then put his feet up against Mighty's chest and began to push off, still holding onto Mighty's arms. Mighty screamed in pain as a loud pop filled the air, signifying the dislocation of both of his arms.

Everyone except Kyo: ...
Kyo: Okay, here's how the murder-suicides will work. Jessie and I will perform the killings before we off each other with the cyanide pills that are under my seat.
Jessie: Really, Kyo?
Kyo: Yes.
Jessie: *sighs* I'm not going to murder my friends. Come on.

Espio turned invisible and tried to sneak up behind. Omega Dusk could only sigh as he elbowed the chameleon in the stomach.

Sonic: Hey, I have an idea! Let's count all of the ass-pull powers that Dusk contains!
Miyu: Why do we need to count, Sonic? Let's just settle with the number "infinity".
Sonic: That actually sounds like the most logical answer, Miyu.

"I have a disappearing act too. Want to see?"

All: No.

He then disappeared and rematerialized behind Espio, kicking him in the back of the head. Desperate, Espio grabbed his shuriken and hurled them at the hedgehog, ho caught them in mid air. Omega Dusk then threw them back at super fast speed, leaving Espio defenseless as the blades pierced his skin.

Sonia: Why do we have to waste our time by reading these stupid paragraphs? He just owns everyone.
Sonic: I think my time's been wasted on riffing it. I have better things to do, like inhaling that poison.
Amy: Would you stop with that poison?

Vector charged at Omega Dusk to aid his fallen friends. A savage look in his eyes, the crocodile tried to close his jaws around Omega Dusk's head. The powerful hedgehog,

Miyu: *adjusts glasses*
All: Would you cram the "powerful" crap?!
Cassy: Christ almighty, dude! Use a thesaurus next time!
Sonic: I wonder who's good at making pickup trucks that can boot somebody down a block or two.

however, held Vector's jaws open with his hands. He then pushed Vector's upper jaw up and his lower jaw down, breaking both of them instantly.

Kyo: *as Kazuya Mishima* You should really keep your mouth shut.
Everyone else:
*heavy sigh* Next!

Amy came next, swinging her hammer wildly. Omega Dusk dodged the hammer easily, and then hit Amy's wrist with a chop. Amy fell to the ground, clutching her swelling wrist, which was obviously fractured.

Amy: *grumbles* I... hate... this... recolor...

Rouge flew at Omega Dusk, but he punched her in the stomach, sending her flying into the ground. Seeing Antoine's sword, Omega Dusk grabbed the weapon and stabbed it through Rouge's wing and into the ground. Turning around with a kick, he then shattered Ray's knee.

Sonic: You know what? Forget curbstomping Dusk. Can we just give him a slow and painful death instead?
Amy: I'm giving Kyo that honor.
Kyo: I'm touched, guys.

Sally and Julie Su watched in horror at the brutality of Omega Dusk.

Sonia: You know, this is extremely repetitive.
Manic:
Because you can see... oh, screw this.
Cassy: Uh... you didn't break, did you, dude?
Manic: No, I'm fine.

Having been begged to by Sonic and Knuckles, the two agreed to watch safely from afar. "We have to do something!" Julie Su exclaimed as she grabbed her pistol.

Jessie: That's it, sweetie! Just one bullet between the eyes!

Sally responded, "What can we do? We have no chance against that monster!" Julie Su sighed helplessly.

Amy: She sighs helplessy, I sigh in frustration.

"I'm done here," Omega Dusk said as he looked at his fallen opponents. Antoine was dead, and the rest of the Freedom Fighters and Chaotix were crippled.

Sonic: And the world falls... to Captain Jag-off.
Kyo: Shall I make him extra crispy, then?
Sonic: Amy gave you the honors, man.

A voice from behind him caused Omega Dusk to turn around. "Hey, we aren't done yet."

Miyu: We're from the Anti-Mary Sue and Gary Stu gallery. We were sent to obtain some "material" of sorts...
Cassy: Jessie, please collect him.
Jessie: *smiles, adjusts her gloves* Gladly, ma'am. Now, Dusk... this will only hurt you massively and please everyone that's reading this garbage...

Omega Dusk crossed his arms as he watched Sonic, Knuckles and Tails walking towards him. It was evident that the three were in immense pain.

Kyo: No duh, considering that Dusk's the wretched offspring of Broly and Chaos!

"You three can still stand. Amazing."

Cassy: And you still won't shut up. Amazing.

"What the hell have you done to them?" Knuckles asked.

Sonia: *as Dusk* I have ass-pulled them, because I am powerful. Any new questions?

"They thought that they could beat me. They have learned their lesson."

All: Blah, blah, blah...

"That's it!" Tails screamed.

Sonic added, "We are going to take you down once and for all!"

Kyo: *as Kusanagi* What have I told you about fighting with your anger...?

As the three charged, Omega Dusk muttered, "It seems you three really want to die."

Amy: Look, Shadow Pizza! We know that they'll get their asses kicked! Do you have to make this stupid fic any more repetitive?!
Sonic: His name is -- oh, never mind.

Sonic, Knuckles and Tails attacked Omega Dusk with everything they had. Sonic threw rapid kicks, but Omega dusk grabbed his leg and slammed him into the ground. Knuckles threw a punch with everything he had, but Omega Dusk ducked and kicked him in the head. Soaring through the air, the echidna landed next to Sonic.

All: *yawns*

"Sonic! Knuckles!" Tails shouted. He turned around and saw Omega Dusk right in front of him. He attacked, but it was no use. Omega Dusk just grabbed him and threw him next to his fallen allies. They all looked as Omega Dusk flew into the air, charging an energy ball.

Jessie: Why didn't I notice this connection sooner?
Sonia: What?
Jessie: Apparently, Dusk is a Pokémon that knows the Energy Ball technique.
Sonia: Huh.

Sally and Julie Su watched in horror as Omega Dusk unleashed the blast. "Oh my god..." they whispered, and then began to weep hysterically.

Manic: Nope, you don't have to try and assist. Thanks, ladies.
Miyu: Um, Sally's not a battler.
Manic: Oh. Well, then. Thanks for nothing, Julie-Su.

"Okay men," Geoffrey St. John said, "We are the only thing that is left between that monster and the king. We need to kill him now."

Miyu: And then they fail, right?

"Kill me? Surely you are joking." Omega Dusk was standing mere feet away, chuckling at the thought of these soldiers beating him .

All: Shut up!

"Fire!"

Kyo: Commit suicide!
Everyone else: Yeah... no...

It was amazing that Sonic, Knuckles and Tails were still alive.

Amy: It was amazing that this fic was still going after all of this boring repetition.

They tried to get up, but couldn't muster the energy. Just then, they saw a figure walk by them.

Sonia: It was rather slim.
Cassy: Another Sonic? On diet pills?
Sonic: *in a falsetto voice* Oh!

"We were wondering... if you were going to come." Sonic said, coughing.

Sonic: *sarcastically* Ey, Kyo. He said "come".
Kyo: *sarcastically* Heh. Funny, Sonic.

"Go kick his ass...we'll be fine." Knuckles said. Just then, they fell unconscious.

Jessie: Is there any reason for Knuckles to swear almost every sentence?
Manic: Well, his Sonic Adventure 2 songs contain rap. Draw your own sarcastic conclusions.

Geoffrey St. John looked around. Most of his men were dead. And Omega Dusk was unscathed.

All: *loudly booing*
Sonia: Terrible. This fic's just terrible.
Kyo: I want my money back!
Sonia: Kyo, this fic was free to read.
Kyo: I know. I just want some monetary compensation for sitting through this!

"I believe you said something about killing me?" he said as he began to fly into the air. "Now all I have to do is kill you," he said as he began to charge another large energy blast, "And then I'll kill the king."

Miyu: *takes glasses off* Yes, yes... you said that already! Now, would you just... shut... up?!
Everyone else: *gasps* Miyu?!
Miyu: *sighs, puts glasses on* I apologize for my sudden outburst, fellow friends.

"You forgot someone." Omega Dusk looked over as he heard the familiar voice. Shadow continued to walk towards Omega Dusk, staring angrily at him. In his hand was the chaos emerald that he always kept with him. Shadow stopped a few feet away from his counterpart and stood defiantly. "You forgot about me."

Sonia: No, he didn't. He thought you sucked because you were stuck in traffic.

"Oh, so Shadow finally decided to show up" Omega Dusk said as he powered down the blast, "It doesn't matter. I'll kill you just like these soldiers."

All: Blah, blah, blah...

Shadow smiled slightly. "That's where you're wrong. I can beat you."

Jessie: *as Shadow* And mace you, and toss you in the dumpster like yesterday's news.

Upon hearing this, Omega Dusk began to laugh uncontrollably.

Cassy: You know what? The next time this jackass laughs, please punch him square in the teeth.
Sonic: Better. Master a slingshot and shoot some firecrackers in it. Maybe I should call Bart Simpson...

"How do you expect to do that? That chaos emerald you're holding won't be able to help you."

Amy: Again, says the guy who broke logic and canon in half!

"Professor Gerald gave me the power to defeat you just in case you betrayed him. The only problem is, I need to use my emotions to unlock it."

Kyo: Perfect emotion? It's anger. Lots and lots of delicious, nutritious anger...

"That's too bad. Have you unlocked this hidden power?" Omega Dusk inquired, slightly fascinated at this fact.

Miyu: *as Spock* Hmm, fascinating...

As he began to power up, Shadow replied, "Not completely, but, I learned a trick or two."

Cassy: Whatever happened to "You'll see?" I mean, he's just saying all of his plans right in front of the guy!

All of the sudden, he had turned into Hyper Shadow! "I don't need chaos emeralds or power rings anymore."

Manic: *as Shadow* Because I can break canon just like you!

"Interesting," Omega Dusk stated, "But it's still not enough to beat me."

Cassy: *rocks in her seat* Punch him, scratch him, kill him...
Kyo: Whoa, easy there, kitty.

"That's why I'm here. I need to use my emotions,"

Sonia: *as Shadow* I have to explain it... in song, baby! Lights, please!

Hyper Shadow said as he clenched his fist and began to fly up towards Omega Dusk. "And you really piss me off!"

All: Yay!
Jessie: The words of everyone in this theater!

Omega Dusk chuckled as Hyper Shadow propelled towards him. "Very well. Let the fight begin."

Miyu: Huh?
Sonic: Wait a second...
Kyo: You're telling me that we've sat through three chapters of this monstrosity, and this ends on a cliffhanger?!
Sonic: Um... yes?
Kyo: Hell, I'm writing my own ending.
Amy: Hey, before we leave, there's something I'd like to try again.
Sonia: What is it?
*With a mighty yell, Amy leaps towards the screen and smashes it with her Piko Piko Hammer. A rather loud crack is heard, and everyone cheers at the sight of the broken screen.*
Amy: Whew! Looks like we only weakened the screen earlier. Take that, Shadow Pizza!

Obscure References by Sony Love
Author's Notes:
During these MSTings, I like to sprinkle some minor things into the fray. Some are obvious, but others are hard to spot, and a few are in-jokes. Did you find them all?

(Part One)

Amy: Jeez, everyone just reminds this guy of Maria, huh?
Everyone else: *stares at Amy*
Amy: Oh. Whoops.

This is a shout out to Sonic Adventure 2, in which Amy convinces Shadow to work with everyone in saving the planet.

 

Sonia: Hey, Shadow must have taken some tips from Shyloh and did a girly swoon!

This is only obscure if you jumped to this fic and didn't read "Meet Shyloh", the Egg Spiral's first riffed fic. Sonia's shout out is to one of her brother's older riffs in which Shyloh faints upon seeing Shadow.

 

Amy: Perfect Chaos: Part Two.

Shout out to the first Sonic Adventure, in which Chaos actually destroys a good chunk of Station Square.

 

Amy: *grabs Sonic's arm* Wait, guys! Did you forget that the bridge has no oxygen?
Sonic: And when has that stopped me
before?

Sonic's actually making a crack... at his own set of video games. The blue blur can breathe in space. He can also breathe in volcanoes... yet, he always drowns in water, mainly because the guy can't swim.

 

Amy: Plot device. Really, you should just relax.

Amy's referring to the theme song to "Mystery Science Theater 3000".

 

Sonic: Shadow, be careful. That... thing's been taking tips from the Mishima family.
Kyo: So, it can withstand ravines, volcanoes, and explosions from boatloads of robots?
Sonic: Exactly.

Sonic's referring to the "Tekken" series... in which the Mishima clan... yes, actually withstood those things.

 

Sonia: This is worse than bringing legendaries to a Pokémon battle and winning tournaments without a hitch.

While this does happen over actual battles, Sonia's referring to the anime, in which a trainer actually won the Sinnoh league with legendaries. Of course, a good chunk of the anime's fans were not happy.

 

Amy: *sarcastically* All's well that ends well, right?

Amy's making a jab at the end of Sonic Adventure, in which Tails actually says this line.

 

(Part Two)

Kyo: Including the memories of the unlucky souls that have watched "Perfect Couples"!

Obscure if you've never watched TV between January and April of 2011. In my opinion, this show was terrible... probably because it featured three bland and unfunny Wonder Bread couples.

 

Amy: Good! Then your training partner will be... Akuma! No, Shin Akuma! No... it's actually Oni!
Sonia: Also, if you're going to train against Evil Ryu... don't aim for the chest, because there's a hole in it. You'll whiff, and you'll look stupid.

These characters all hail from "Street Fighter". Shin Akuma is basically Akuma's true form. Oni may be too, but nobody is sure yet. Evil Ryu is obviously the evil version of Ryu. Yes, his recent incarnation actually has a hole in his chest. Don't ask.

 

Sonic: Also, you must open your heart.

Yes, Sonic is referring to the main theme for "Sonic Adventure" entitled "Open Your Heart".

 

(Part Three)

Amy: Of Christmas?
Sonic, Sonia, Manic: ...
Jessie: Congratulations, Amy. You now know how I felt that day.

This is actually a shout out to the riffs of the Black Crow's third episode, in which Cassy questions Jessie about Christmas... if that's okay.

 

Jessie: *yelling* I can accept the fact that I actually want to rip your bloody heart out with my bare hands and eat it raw!

That "eat it raw" part is a reference to a very unknown bloody fighting game called "Bloodstorm".

 

Sonia: I guess I don't have to hire Kano for you, then...

Sonia's referring to the character Kano's first fatality from the original "Mortal Kombat", in which he rips the beating heart out of his opponent... without the eating part, as Jessie desired.

 

Kyo: *as Kusanagi* What have I told you about fighting with your anger...?

Obscure if you haven't read my crappy fanfiction. It seems that Kyo's been poking around and read "Kusanagi's Wrath" for a good laugh.

 

This story archived at http://cwcyrix.no-ip.info/fhaven/viewstory.php?sid=5