MST 'EM: Meet Shyloh by Sony Love
Summary: Shyloh, another one of those Sonic OC's in a long line of hedgehogs, gives four hedgehog riffers some trouble for their first riffed fic. Needs more "Girl Power."
Categories: MSTings Characters: None
Gender Pairings: None
Genre: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: Mystery Science Theater En Masse
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 2234 Read: 7322 Published: September 13, 2011 Updated: September 13, 2011
Story Notes:
This is the second riffed fic for En Masse and the Egg Spiral's very first riffing. The fic in question is the property of Zoey-Ace.

1. Do you like dresses? Then you're not a real girl! by Sony Love

Do you like dresses? Then you're not a real girl! by Sony Love

This is a little introduction to tell you about a character I made.

Amy: Do character introductions usually last a whole story...?

I hope you enjoy. Please read&review.

Manic: Hmm.

I awoke from a memorable dream.

Sonic: Did it involve winning the lotto?

I had met someone silent, calm... deadly my first thought was.

Manic: Freddy Kreuger?

I didn't see his face, but after a few seconds he seemed alright to me. In fact I grew fond of him.

Manic: Yeah, it's Freddy Kreuger.

I came closer and closer.

Sonia: This isn't like one of those horror movies where the dumb kids take a closer look and get hacked off, is it?
Sonic: I sure hope so.

I could almost see his face, but I woke up before I came close enough.

Sonic: Oh, that happens to everyone now and again.

What a weird dream. It makes sense to me now, but we'll get to that later.

Amy: You sure? You might as well tell us now, get it overwith.

My name is Shyloh. I'm a turquoise female hedgehog. My looks are easy to explain.

Sonia: Twenty bucks says otherwise.

I wear my long, dread-locked hair in a pretty long ponytail.

Manic: Like the Predator?

My eyes are amethyst, and kinda look innocent and cute.

Sonic: Would you just say "purple"!
How does an amethyst look innocent?

The average guy overlooks those, and stares at my breasts.

Sonia: Because that's the only thing they care about. Whatever.

Probably because I wear skintight clothing, they seem bigger.

Sonic: So... stop wearing skintight clothing...?

Oh, yeah, my clothes. I wear skintight shorts and a matching... umm, I think bra.

Manic: You think it's a bra?!
What is it with female Sonic fan characters, skintight clothing, and attention to big bazongas?

I'm not sure, but you get the idea.

All: No, we don't.

My gloves are fingerless at my hand, but my wrists have these big, mechanical gauntlets.

Sonia: Filler information.

Hey, what's your prob?

All: Nothing!

I love those gloves. No one can call me girly with them on.

Sonic: *smacks head* Oh, god.
Grrrl Powah!
Amy: Let me get this straight. So, it's wrong to wear things like dresses, but it's okay to wear skimpy skintight clothing that makes you look like a stripper or a prostitute?
Sonia: Apparently, today's girls don't have image issues.

And my boots. They're big and mechanical too. You wouldn't be able to tell where the toe is; it's so rounded, it looks like the heel. Well, at least I can tell. And, by the way, don't call them Rocket-boots, or I'll chew you out. Just cause the bottoms look like a big engine comes out doesn't mean there is any.

Sonic: This just in: Nobody cares.
Manic: Why didn't she just save this stuff for her bio or something?

My personality is free-going, independent, playful, and very boyish.

Sonic: And remember, guys... Shyloh's independent. Let that sink into your skulls.
: I know there's nothing wrong with tomboys... but how many are there in the Sonic fandom?
Manic: A bajillion.

Any average guy would want power over me, want me to be dependent on him. Screw that!

Manic: And screw you!
Apparently, every average guy came from the 1950's.

Look into my eyes.

Sonic: I don't want to!

They'll tell you the truth, that you better go find another girl who is dependent.

Amy: Because all girls who wear dresses are doormats... right?
Sonia: According to her odd logic, yes.

I sometimes seem girly, but that wouldn't be the truth.

Manic: And how is that bad? I'm not getting it.

I just always want a person to show a twinge of happiness, to show a little smile, during the good times.

Amy: Isn't that everyone... kinda?

And yes, I do giggle a bit. But mostly laugh.

Sonic: Hey, you can't giggle! That's girly!

Well, that's me, but now, maybe if I tell you how I found out who was in my dream, you might know me better...

Sonia: We already know you're like every other skimpy-looking Sonic OC out there! What's next, you like Shadow?

I got out of bed, and went into the bathroom. Heeded nature's call, if you get my drift. Looked in the mirror. No prob. Put hair in ponytail. Put clothes on, gloves on, and boots on. Totally routine. So, after the routine, I got out of the hut. Needed a walk. It calms my nerves. I decided the best place to go was the forest. Well, that's a mile away, but I figure since I've got some speed, it shouldn't take long.

Sonic, Sonia: Get on with it!
Amy: Why do Sonic Sues need speed powers, anyway?
Manic: Dunno. Oh, it looks like she forgot to brush her teeth. Eww.
Amy: Manic, stop it.

I run past the Coconut Café, turn the corner, run along the Super-Duper-Market. Huh, I thought, it's too small to be super. Finally come to a crossroad. I crossed it, ran past the broken-down music studio... Wait. It's broken? I mentally slap myself. I could just take that way as a shortcut. So I run back and go through the damaged building. A chunk falls and hits my glove. Great, it left a scratch. I sighed. Oh, well. No different from the other scratches its got. I come to the end of the building.

Sonic: *snores*
Amy: *nudges Sonic* Figures he'd be bored stiff.
Manic: This has more filler than "American Idol"!

"Well, that was easy. A bit unsafe, but who cares? I just gotta get to the forest."

Manic: What if she hurts herself?
Sonia: Then we'll have to read a long-ass paragraph on that.

After saying the first sentence of the day, the forest is just a block away. "Yes! Shortcuts rock! That studio should've been demolished years ago! What's a music studio doing here anyway? We have huts, not mansions. No one could afford to have an album... Oh crap! I'm talking out loud again."

Amy: Did we miss the part where she guzzled down fifteen cappuccinos?
Sonia: Uh, is she assuming that people who live in huts are poor or something?

Oh, yeah. Heh, totally forgot to say that I say things out loud that sound as if I'm talking to myself.

All: *sarcastically* Thanks for totally warning us.

Anyway, back to the story:

Sonia: Wait, there was a story?

I walk along the block. There's more huts, just a different neighborhood. Who cares? The forest is a block away...

Sonic: And if we turn the corner, the end of the fic's there!
Manic: Keep dreaming, bro.

I waved to the the people living in the huts.

Manic: And the people wonder who the hell she is.

I don't know them, but I know them.

Amy: Huh? Make up your mind!

But as I'm waving, my dream came to me.

Sonic: The numbers were slowly coming together for the 350 million dollar lottery jackpot.

That person, I've never seen him, have I? He doesn't live in this place.

Sonia: What is "this place", anyway?
Amy: Station Square cross-breeding with Tiki Tiki Island, perhaps?

Maybe he's a drifter. Maybe he's in a whole new place.

Manic: Like a bottomless pit?

A place full of adventure, and only came here because of a new adventure.

Amy: Hooking up with a skimpy-looking Sue isn't really an adventure. More like a cliché.

Or what if he does live around here, but is silent enough I've never noticed him?

Sonic: Because he'd be embarassed to be around you.

But he's probably just a made-up figure in my dreams.

Manic: If that were true, you'd be in a padded room right about now.


Manic: See? She agrees.
Sonia: Yeah. Whatever.

I wave to the blue hedgehog in his front yard.

Sonic: Hi!

Sonic. 16.

Manic: Age or shoe size?

I know him well. In fact, he might as well be famous, he's so well known.

Sonic: Everybody loves me!
Sonia: *sarcastically* I don't love you.
Sonic: Aww.

Hey, his body shape is just like the figure in my dream. Weird, the way the figure acted is nothing like Sonic. Whatever.

Amy: But... the figure did nothing. How does that work?

There's Tails.

Amy: Where's Tails?

He's well known too. Sonic's sidekick. Sorta.

Sonic: "Sorta"?

He's an orange fox, age 9, and has two tails. I guess that's why he's called Tails.

Manic: Dur-hay!
Give her a Nobel Prize, everyone!

Hmmm... not much else to say... oh yeah, Tails is a brainiac. IQ of like, 400 or something. That's actually kinda awesome. Seriously.

Manic: Like, totally! Rad and junk!
Sonic: Shut up.

A few houses down, and I see Amy's hut. She shares with Cream the rabbit. Amy is a pink hedgehog who's my age, 13, and Sonic's fan girl. She's totally in love with him. It get's bothersome, but that's just how she is.

Amy: And your potential fangirliness isn't bothersome?! Double standards ahoy, Madame Sue!
Sonia: Well, Amy's steamed. Sonic, chill her out.
Sonic: Uh... no.

She's really girly, and wears a dress, but i'm okay with that. Most girls do.

Amy: *exaggerating Shyloh* But you'll never catch me in one! Remember?!
Manic: Grrrl Powah!

Cream is a cream colored rabbit, who has a Chao named Cheese. She's 6 and is really cute! You just can't resist pulling her up in your arms and hugging her tight... well, you can, but it's hard.

Manic: After the hug, poor Cream's criticized for wearing a dress.

Oh, look, Knuckles is at his rental hut.

Sonic: Purchased from 1-800-RENT-A-HUT!

He actually lives on Angel Island and is protector of one of the Chaos Emeralds.

Amy: "Master Emerald", you mean.

He's a red echidna who is age 17, and Sonic's best friend, just like Tails.

All: We know!

He has these big boxing gloves with spikes on the knuckles. Get it?

Sonic: *flatly* Duh.

Well, I did.

Amy: *sarcastically* Oh, bravo!

I waved to him too.

Sonia: *as Knuckles* Who the heck's this girl?

Finally! The forest.

Manic: Which we could've been at twenty minutes ago!

I breathed a sigh of relief, and walked in, dodging trees, bushes, twigs and such. I came to a clearing, the one I always go to.

Amy: Specially marked, just for you!
Sonic: From 1-800-RENT-A-CLEARING!

I collapsed on the grass, arms and legs spread out, facing the sky, watching the clouds.

Manic: That cloud looks... like boredom!

But I felt as if there was someone else there with me. Someone watching me.

Sonia: The Grim Reaper?

I jumped up, ready to punch the crap out of someone, anyone, who came near me. Even if it was Sonic.

Manic: *as Shyloh* Because it'll show off my Grrrl Powah!
Amy: *sighs* She could've just said "ready to defend myself" instead of sounding like the typical skimpy clothed Sonic Sue bit--
Sonic: Whoa! Chill, Amy.

Five minutes pass by, and nothing's happened.

Sonic: Nothing's happened for the past thirty hours!
Sonia: Don't you mean thirty minutes?
Sonic: You forget who you're talking to.

So I relax, turn around, and I see the figure from my dream. Silent, calm,... deadly even.

Manic: Freddy Kreuger again?

I remembered the dream, knowing nothing would happen to me.

Manic: Unless it was inhabited by--
Sonic, Sonia, Amy: We know, Manic!

So, knowing that, he didn't seem deadly.

Sonic: But he was ax crazy.

I even grew fond of him. Just, quiet. I moved closer. He stayed still, obviously wondering what to do.

Sonia: Like slaughter you.

I moved even closer, and then I saw his face.

Amy: Now she's a believer!
Run, lady!

He was all black, with some red tints in his hair. His eyes were like rubies, shining red.

Sonic, Manic, Amy: *flatly* Shadow.
Sonia: I called it, didn't I?

And he was frowning, as though he's never smiled in his life.

Sonic: Because he was in this story.

But the figure of his body was just like Sonic's. Who was this guy? And why did he seem so... I dunno. Attracting.

Manic: Because Shadow attracts skimpy "Grrrl Powah" Sues like flies to honey?

I passed out.

All: Typical!

I didn't faint, because I wasn't frightened. I passed out because I was startled.

Sonic: Look, specifics ain't gonna help you here. You did a girly swoon, end of story.

But, I'm guessing 2 hours later, when he was gone, and I had awoke, I'll never forget what name came into my head, as though he put it there himself.

Sonia: Shadow's now a wizard!
Manic: Stitching his name into ladies' brains with Chaos Control!

It will help me find this mystery hedgehog of my dreams- and that's literal as well as emotional.

Amy: Congratulations, you're now a fangirly hypocrite! Manic, tell her what she's won!
Manic: A lifetime of shame! *imitates audience cheers*

The name was Shadow.

All: Dur-hay!

Thanks for reading!

Sonic: Thank you for giving us riffing material!

You'll bet Shyloh will be in other fanfics with, you guessed it, Shadow!

Manic: Why?
Sonia: Because.

I hope you all enjoyed reading this little intro to a new character.

Amy: Little?
Sonic: New?

I have been thinking about the next one, so it should be soon, if all goes well.

Manic: Luckily, we never got it.
Sonic: Yeah. Let's get outta here...

End Notes:
One obscure reference here:

Manic: This has more filler than "American Idol"!

It's not that obscure, but there are people who don't
watch this show. American Idol is known for its massive padding and
filler-filled filler. Hell, even the auditions have filler. It's ridiculous.

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